A Traditional Rwandan Wedding

So, a few weekends back, my mom invited me to go to her brother’s wedding. The wedding, she said, started at 1, so naturally we left at 1, got to the wedding, milled around for a bit, waited in the car, then finally went in and sat down. The wedding started at 3. It was a traditional wedding, but parts of it had definitely been modernized—for instance, right next to the traditional peace basket on both the bride and groom’s sides, there was a tray of Fanta and bottled water. We sat on the groom’s side right behind the front row which was entirely composed of men (I guess men from the family), and in particular, we were right behind the spokesman for the family. Across the yard (as this took place at someone’s house) was the bride’s side with the same set up (and a very grumpy looking spokesman. Nice guy, but terrifying default face). In between the two and at the front was the bride and groom’s…place to sit. I’m not entirely sure what to call it. Anyway, the wedding was basically a drama played out between the two spokesmen that negotiated the wedding. It was all in Kinyarwanda, so my sister had to translate for me—a duty she gets tired of doing :P The ceremony began with the spokesman from the groom’s side forming a relationship with the spokesman of the other side, bringing gifts of wine,  etc. Next, the groom’s side spokesman says that his family has a boy that is interested in one of their girls. Then the bride’s side spokesman dances around giving her away by going through other women in the family—“but this one, she is so old” and “she is my wife! How dare you try to take her from me!”—before finally admitting that the bride is there. Then they negotiate a bride price of 8 cows before a group of men dressed in traditional clothes in interesting patterns on top of western formal wear goes out to inspect the cows. They come back to report on the quality of the cows, some young boy comes out and talks about how beautiful Rwandan women are (dancing to imitate them of course), and then the two sides finally agree to the wedding. The groom came out followed by the bride who was preceded by who I’ll assume were the bridesmaids doing a traditional dance. The bride was absolutely gorgeous!!! She wore a blue sari with silver trim (not exactly traditional, but gorgeous nonetheless) and kept a very straight face the entire time in keeping with Rwanda’s emotionally reserved tradition. There was so much music, drumming, and dancing as she came out—it was awesome! The drumming and music were a recording though, but still. The groom put a ring on the bride’s finger, the two exchanged several gifts, and then they went to greet each of the families before taking their seats up front. When the bride came to our side, she gave her new father-in-law a leather cowboy hat and a beaded cane, which I guess is basically saying, “Congrats! You’re an old man now!” Leather cowboy hats are fairly common among old men here. Then the spokesmen exchanged a few more pleasantries before the bride and groom processed out and the ceremony finished.

It was a pretty cool experience! A little boring at times with all the back and forth and wine exchanging, but I’m definitely glad I got to be a part of that. There’s also a church wedding, though I’m not entirely sure what that consists of. Maybe I’ll get to attend one of those too!